i think it's often underestimated how much the people around you actually shape how you perceive/act. Whether consciously or subconsciously. Very much like our old friend, the herd mentality. Maybe that's why I'm secretly rebelling against all things herd. Not that I want to make myself stand out (though that would no doubt be a side effect), but just to check and ensure that what I'm doing is not just a result of what others are. And I am on both sides in different matters. e.g. I've come to accept and adopt the form of singspiration in LSCC and carlton. For example, if I had gone to a different church when I first got here, I could well have been conditioned that another form is the norm. On the other hand, as an example of non-conformity, I actively made the (on hindsight, bloody stupid) choice of snowboarding at the recent ski trip, so that I don't follow what almost everyone is doing. And also, in a group, like the sydney trip, I choose without thinking twice, to go bondi beach myself when everyone else is going shopping.

Maybe it's for the same reason why I've grown to filter others' opinions. (Not that I don't treasure constructive criticism, I think that's one aspect of improving as a person.) But. Heck, the whole world has an opinion, and if I spend my time reacting to them all, it's be pretty dumb, wouldn't it? Or maybe it's simply an extension of my couldn't-care-less attitude from before. But it's different, it's not that I don't care, I just filter.

I do not exactly know the cause and effect of this particular rant. But then again, who cares.

I don't want to say that week 1 of the semester is already stressing. But. It's just that they have sneaked in an extra 3 lectures (although the one by our dear friend norm eizenberg was more basically a screwed up standup comedy than a lecture) this week, and the next I think. And those are anatomy. Put that on top of the introductory concepts of neuroscience, and there you have it, the ingredients of a stressful first week. Aiyah there, I said it. Come on, jia you myself. I don't want the nightmare of scoring two 79s again. Ever. The unbearable pain of nearly.